A letter to my daughter. May you always know your worth and how very deeply loved you are.
Thank you for being the reason.
The reason to pursue education and achieve greatness for myself. The reason for making safe choices so that I can come home to you. The reason for putting my marriage with your dad at the forefront so that our family grows in love. The reason for making sure I prioritize self care, so that I can provide the best care for you. The reason for being my best self. And forgiving myself when I am not. The reason for getting up in the middle of the night, or leaving work in a rush. The reason for taking a deep breath, and the reason for the extra cup of coffee. Thank you for being the reason that my life has a greater purpose.
Thank you for being exactly what I need even when I don’t know what is needed.
You find me when I am down or anxious and give me a kiss without even knowing I needed one. When I am scrambling to finish a work project in the evening, you come up next to me and rest your hand on me just because. You tell me you love my glasses, and my crazy hair. You call out for me when you are having a nightmare, and it is exactly what I need to hear. You ask me to hold you when I have no hands left. When I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, you smile at me and shift my world back into focus.
Thank you for looking at the world with so much promise and wonder. You represent all that is good in this world, and you remind me to look for the beauty in others.
When things are especially heavy or trying, I can look at the world as a glass half empty. I get caught in the comparison wheel with others and I have days where I fail more times than I can count. People disappoint me, and I disappoint myself. You look at the same things and see how beautiful they are. How special each day is. How lucky we are to have this life. You give me the vision I need, and I am so very grateful for your eyes.
Thank you for providing me with the most challenging journey of my life so far. You make me grow everyday and allow me to gain resiliency and confidence with each hard day.
This motherhood thing is hard. There is not other way to describe it. I can love it so fiercely it feels like my heart might explode, but that does not make it any less hard. I am working hard every day to plant, nurture, and tend to the future humans of this world. To uncover all the beauty within you, and surround you with love. That is hard no matter what our journey looks like. You provide me with situations daily where I have to reflect on my own behavior. My flaws, and my strengths are constantly highlighted. You are the reason things matter, and you are the one shaping me into me, just as I am shaping you.
Thank you for loving your dad and looking at him like the hero he is. You remind me everyday how much I love him too.
You look at your father with eyes that I want to remember to use with him always. When we are squabbling over dishes (again) I want to remember how you look at him, and try to soften my tone. I want him to know how much he means to me and how much I appreciate his help. He is right there next to me in the garden tending to you and your siblings with kindness and love. Watching you love him, allows me to see where our own love needs tending. Your love adds to the overwhelming love I feel for my husband.
Thank you for showing me that sometimes we need help from others and that it is okay to accept it.
Again, motherhood is hard. Our village matters. Choosing them, using them, and keeping them. Thank you for needing help sometimes, and for showing me that I do too. Thank you for making it okay to accept that help, and for loving our village just like I do.
Thank you for needing me, and wanting me. Thank you for showing me it’s okay to just be.
Thank you for the extra snuggles, and asking me to play with you instead of clean up. You remind me that all those things can wait, and give me the privilege of a few extra moments with you while you are little. Thank you for waking me up in the middle of the night, and refusing to get dressed some days. You give me back a few moments with you that would have been lost otherwise.
Thank you for all the parts of you, and all the moments.
Thank you for being the you that you are, in all your forms. Thank you for giving me the greatest moments of my life and continuing to share this life with me. Thank you for making me a mom, a woman, and a believer in joy.
Mother’s day isn’t for me. It’s for you.