I have to start every one of these posts with the disclaimer that ALL MOMS ARE WORKING MOMS. Whether you choose to be home with your kids and put in work there, or work in a career of your choice, we all work. After my first baby, I felt very isolated as I prepared to return to my corporate position after my maternity leave ended. The majority of my friends are stay at home moms, and I thoroughly enjoyed spending my leave days in play groups and focused completely on my parenting. I faced a lot of judgement both societal and within our circle for returning and faced a lot of mom guilt. For working moms in a career journey, hopefully these thoughts will help you feel less alone than I felt and enjoy those remaining days with your babe free of worry. Working moms need encouragement while managing through the confusion and guilt. These are the things I wish someone had said to me. This is the working moms encouragement that every working mom needs to hear.
It’s okay if you look forward to Monday. And it’s okay if you don’t.
Parenting is freaking hard! I know so many colleagues that comment about how they look forward to every Monday and cannot stand having long breaks with their kids home from school. Humans are creatures of habit and like a schedule. If you love the routine of going to work on Mondays while your kids go to school or daycare, that is okay. You do not love them any less, and you can enjoy your serene Monday free of any guilt. If, like me, you live for the weekends and bonus days with your kids, that is okay too. I felt extreme guilt for missing my babies while I was at work when it seemed like all the working moms around me were smiling into their coffee and catching up with their adult conversations. Whichever way your heart feels, is the way you should feel. And there are other working moms out there feeling those exact feelings right along with you.
If you feel more confident as a working professional than you do as a mom, that is okay.
Before you were a mom, you were just YOU. You pursued education and training that you earned and took on various jobs and roles. You did things that reflected who you are as just you. Oftentimes this is evident in our career path. Having a baby that you love more than your soul, does not automatically bring with it a large spoonful of confidence. If you feel more confident and in the zone in a meeting room or at the office instead of at home with your little ones, there is nothing wrong with you. You are still the you that you always were. You will still keep moving forward with motherhood, and your confidence will grow there too.
Your hard work is appreciated.
Whether your work because you have to or because you want to, your decision is appreciated. You are working hard every day to be there for your family and maintain your career. It may feel like it goes unnoticed in the day to day, but it isn’t. You are appreciated for the work you are putting into the family you are growing. You are appreciated for the mom and wife that you are. Your financial contributions as a working mom and their impacts on your family are appreciated. You are appreciated for staying true to yourself and pursuing your dreams too.
You don’t have to be there to experience it.
One of the best parts of my day is listening to my daughter recount all the wonder from her day before bed. She tells me all the songs she danced to, and projects she did. She tells me about her lunch and her nap and the weather outside. I get to experience all the joys of watching her grow. You do not have to be there, to still experience your children.
Your kids might miss you, but they also admire you.
They may be too little or too busy to tell you how much they admire you. They might cry when you leave and run to you when you walk through the door. But they recognize that working is important, and that you do it for them. They admire the confidence you display when you talk about your job. As they grow into adults they will remember you as a mom, and they will also remember your successes. They will watch you reach your goals as they set their own and they will hold themselves to high expectations. They will watch you overcome adversity and learn resiliency that will carry over into who they become in their own lives.
You may have days where you choose motherhood over your job, and that is okay. You may have days where you choose your job over your kids, and that is okay too.
The best advice I ever heard about balancing work and parenting was from a wildly successful executive that I worked for. He said, “The key to being your best self at work and at home is always knowing where the priority is. To go where you are most needed on a constantly changing basis. If you are needed more by one of your children, then you leave work behind and turn towards home. If your home is functioning smoothly and you are needed more at work, then you make work your priority in the moment. Be fluid and always pay attention to the priority.” The pendulum will swing and you will never feel balanced. You will have weeks where you put in more hours at work and weeks where you need to be home. As long as you are flexible with yourself, you will always know where you are needed most.
You do not love your kids any less as a working mom than the mom that stays home.
YOU CAN LOVE YOUR KIDS THE SAME AMOUNT AS THE MOM WHO STAYS AT HOME. Choosing to work because it is the best decision for you or your family has no impact on the amount of love you have for your children. I love my kids so fiercely, and choosing to work does not diminish that in the slightest. Sometimes I need working moms encouragement to make it through the day, but I never worry about how much I love my kiddos.
You are doing great, exactly where you are.
It might feel like you ran a marathon every morning before you got to the office, but no one else knows that. You might feel like your mind and your heart is pulled in a million directions. But no one else can tell. It might feel like you are never put together, and like things are always dropping. You are doing the best you can, and the best you can is exactly as it should be. You are doing great at work, and you are doing great with your children.
I’m with you, mama. I hope these words of working moms encouragement are the things you need to hear too.
All the best,
What a lovely post. As a working mom, I do have moments where i feel like im letting my family down by not being there all the time, but this is great encouragement, and i totally agree with it being ok to work. Kids actually learn that its a part of life, and im not always gone, but there are things i have to do also for the family.
Yes yes yes! Working moms can face tons of mom guilt about not always being there, but sometimes it is the best decision!! You are exactly right about kids learning great things from it as well!
Great post!! I just had a baby four months ago and my life has completely changed. I like how you say “every mom is a working mom” because it’s true. I don’t go into work anymore but now I work from home part-time.. and this is still tough! You have to find the best way to balance baby, work and of course self-care.
Congratulations on your little one! Finding a balance is SO HARD when new priorities, like babies, come into your life! While it is tough, you are doing great!
I think we don’t hear enough that our work is appreciated! There’s so much guilt involved with being a mom, whether you work, work from home, stay at home, etc. We all need to feel appreciated for how we contribute. Knowing that work is appreciated goes a long way in helping when you feel like you’re missing out. Thank you!
SO TRUE! Motherhood involves a lot of work, regardless of how your journey looks. We all need to appreciate each journey, whatever it looks like!!
So true! I have always worked (although I’m lucky in that I work from home) and it’s hard to not feel like you are letting someone down (work or kids!). Great reminders.
Working from home is wonderful, but it does still involve some tough choices! You’re doing great!
I’m a working mom who works from home. It can be so hard to separate work and family time when your office is just down the hall, but it’s also hard when traveling to leave my family behind for a few days. Thanks for the words of encouragement!
The separation is so tricky when your work space is at home! I am thankful my current role does not involve traveling but I admire you for all you do! That must be super challenging.
Very apt post. As a working mom, I sometimes feel torn between work & family. Thank you for this reminder that we all are doing our best – for us/ self & our kids!
YES! Making the best choices for your family can be challenging, but so worth it!
I love your post! I am a SAHM but, whether a working mom or a stay at home mom we all need support! I was once a working mom and I loved my children and always strived to be the best I could be for my children!
All of us work hard, regardless of where we spend our days! You are doing wonderfully with your kiddos!
Great post! it’s awesome to hear that women can and should be celebrated whether they choose to work at home, or be a stay at home parent. One is not better than the other, and you wrote some great encouragement for moms to feel valued even though they work outside the home.
Thank you! Motherhood in all forms deserves a celebration for sure!
This was so reassuring. As a working mom, I have this cycle of guilt constantly– I feel guilty for leaving her and going to work, but then I’d feel guilty for not contributing to our bills, then I’d feel guilty for enjoying work instead of being home with her, and then I’d feel guilty for taking a day off to spend more time with her… I’m glad I’m not alone in how I feel. Thank you for sharing.
You are definitely not alone! The guilt feels endless sometimes. You are making the best decisions you can for your family and that’s all you can do! You’re doing great!
This is such a great post! ESPECIALLY for newer moms who are still trying to find the balance of being a mom and a person! I really like how you take two ends of each spectrum and explain how it is totally fine to be on either end. Neither end makes you less of great mom!
Thank you so much! I remember returning to work as a first time mom was SO hard and such a milestone. Hopefully some other moms out there will feel less alone as they make the leap!
I love how you say
” ALL MOMS ARE WORKING MOMS. Whether you choose to be home with your kids and put in work there, or work in a career of your choice, we all work. ”
I’ve done some of both
Yes! It is wonderful that you have had a chance to live out both types of roles. Both are challenging work in different ways!
I love this post! I am a full time working mom. I often feel so much guilt over being at work but I try very hard to maintain the work-life balance. I am a mom above all else and I make that very clear, thankfully my employer understands. I know that I do not have the patience to stay home with my kids full time and I bow down to my mom friends who do stay home…they are amazing!!!
I definitely agree! Work life balance is always a work in progress, but so glad you have an understanding employer! That makes a huge difference!
I love this! Being a mom is hard. Society paces an unrealistic idea of how a mother should act and feel. But, mothers are human. Thanks for the inspiration!
I agree, so unrealistic! I love connecting with other moms to paint the real picture!
What a wonderful, encouraging post for “working” moms! I love your beginning that states ALL moms are working moms. AMEN! Its sad that society likes to compare one mom to another in how hard they work. One may say you are lazy if you stay at home with the kids, on the contrary, you are not a good mom if you work away from home. Never a win win. Love your blog post and encouraging words!
Thank you! Exactly! No matter what we choose as moms, there is always someone ready to criticize. We are making the best choice we can!
So true…”a constantly changing basis” balancing being a working parent!
The biggest thing I had to adjust to was that each day was not necessarily going to go as planned, actually most days. But as soon as I accepted that it become so much easier to work with.
Oh yes! Always a great plan, but most days look a little different. Being prepared for changes makes things much easier!
Great words that I needed to hear. Thank you!
Glad to hear it! Thank you!!
Thank you for such an encouraging post! It’s so sad to see how we’re always ready to tear down other mothers instead of lifting them up, just because they’re different from us. Everyone is different, but we all have mom guilt (sometimes for different things), and we all want the very best for our kids!
YES!! We all want the same thing and we all experience mom guilt one way or another!
It’s nice to have some validation! I was not built to be a stay at home mom and I do not have it all together, but it makes me feel good to provide for my family and I love my kids and miss them during the workday, but I enjoy coming home to them!
Absolutely! Coming home to the kiddos make for some of the best moments!
I m a working women and i have to travel alot because of my work, i used to Feed my 4 months old baby girl really is the most complex things i have ever done. Now i m going to start my baby girl on formula i am very worried about ending up feeding her the wrong formula. A whole lot of online research got me to start her feeding on Holle ‘Goat Milk’.Getting it from an online store ever since and i think now that i see she is doing good on formula and growing super fast i am satisfied with my choice.
What a great post! I have been a working Mom for 10 years now and will admit that it never gets easier. I agree that the key to being the best at both jobs is to prioritize the role that requires more at that particular time. Sometimes it will be work, and sometimes that will be the kids and neither is wrong at that moment.
I like to believe that I am instilling hard work, independence, and dedication in my children each and every day that they see me leave the house for my office.
Thank you for an amazing post.
Thank you so much for your kind words! I am glad this post resonated with you. I absolutely believe you are instilling hard work, dedication, and independence into your children 🙂
Thank you so much for your kind words! I am glad this post resonated with you. I absolutely believe you are instilling hard work, dedication, and independence into your children 🙂